Need I Must

Another year, another piece of wisdom and advice for me to see and hear from God. Looking back on another year of life, where I am at today is in a place of very slow pace.

I want to move in slow motion. Be intentional and focused. Not falling for the lies. Stopping to see the truth and confront it head on. Usually thru pray and strength thru God (and His ppl). People who talk, ppl who make me laugh, ppl who make me think thru music, art and film, writing. Hugs from my kids (and sometimes friends).

I have goals this year to know myself better and not be distracted by dating. To take a year off (since I failed miserably last year).

To practice capturing my thoughts and staying away from participating in evil. Who I hang out with and what I do. Reading the Bible in a year helps. Being in my Women's Bible Study helps. Homeschooling and serving in my Singles Group at Church keep me accountable to myself, God and others.

I have no interest in sifting thru guys that are not in love with God. To be in love with our Lord and practicing to strive for Holiness.

Learning, sharing, serving, giving, not sinning and where so, repenting. Showing a life that is blessed because you follow and want to obey God. Free of anger, fear and rebelling against God (and what's right). A gentle man that gives freely of his time, talents and treasures to serve God's Kingdom.

I am interested in being a good/better communicator with God and others. I am practicing being aware of my actions (and thoughts). In correction, learning, honing mode.

Good thing, bc I was getting tired and bored. So I prayed for a lift, a pick me up. So I am working on balance and improving all areas of my life. Me and God not me going to a guy to be my answers/fix (of the other side). It is hard to be real with yourself, but very freeing to live in the Truth and Light/Right. Only good or evil so I need to pay attention to how Satan uses everything against you, tricks you, knows your weak spots and is always on your heels to devour you and your loved ones. Wow, without the Holy Trinity I am doomed on that one!

Trying hard to be the person God wants me to be. Being a good example to my kids in mental, spiritual and physical health. In training mode.

Who am I? And What do I like (and don't like/want in my life)?  What is it that I want in my life for me, for my relationship with God and others?

I listed my wants in a guy last year, now I need to list what it is I want out of a relationship and what it is that I want In a relationship.

Good communication!
Serving God together first off.
A desire to follow God together and be an example to me and my kids (and others)
Spiritual Leader of our Home
No anger problems and no addictions
A life filled with Blessings for doing the right thing and serving God

A God Honoring Life Together in Joy & Peace.

Same Purpose and Calling. Ministry, Serving, No Fear, Willing to go where God wants you to, An Adventurer for God who wants to be My Protector and My Kids  ;) A Man That Knows God Is The Provider and you just have to be willing to work hard in all areas of your life and have Faith that God Lightens Your Burdens and Have Peace and Joy in Knowing God is In Charge of Everything. Excitement and On Fire for God and Serving Him and His People! Humble and Teachable and of course loves to have fun in life!

I want these things in me and my kids and when I meet the guy that fits this with us then I will be interested. Until then I am stoked to have My Life.

God You Are Good, You Are Holy

You are my example. My teacher. My Guide. My Comforter My Security. My Sanity. And My Strength. I do not have to be perfect. You are. Knowing that is all I need to know. Knowing you r special and unique, one of a kind qualities are in me. In all of us. That you made limited editions in us.

Help me teach value in life/ teach wisdom and strength. Help me convey your joy in finding true happiness DisCover UnCover the lies, take off the mask, the veil of deception that covers our eyes, minds and hearts. Help me help all that need to know the Truth.

Use me as an instrument of ur peace, help me spread the truth

I know satan uses us, tricks us, hammers our brain with his lies. crushes our soul and spirit and makes us hate

hurt

and hurt others

Help Me Help You and Yours, help me pray and learn and pass that on with love

its not about me its not about anyone but you Lord and how u love

how ur love heals

what can I do but pray

God,

it is so not right, not fair. Everything in this world just sucks. I have never had a relationship with a man that was not abusive and now because of that I get to watch my kids be abuse. The courts can't help me or them. Only criminals get public defenders not children and mothers who need help for their kids. I can't afford a lawyer and that means evil wins once again.

All these people in the world with so much money and no one to help my kids.

It sucks that this world is so unjust.

I guess Satan knew all I ever wanted in the whole world was a family. A kind loving home with a man to love us. A Dad to be someone to look up to, a man to love.

I never had that my whole life. Not with my Dad, not with my first Husband and not with the second one either. Both times I just married a guy just like my Dad. Angry and abusive, scary & mean.

Now that I am older and my kids are not with me anymore I am alone with my thoughts. I am always alone. I eat by myself and watch TV alone and yet I have the abusive men still causing my children and I such pain.

Will the cycle ever be broken

I wish I would meet a man who was God honoring. Someone to show my kids how it's suppose to be

I guess I just get to learn and teach them. My two little ones are still with me and I can teach them about God and how he meant it to be

I pray that my older two kids will be able to come home one day soon and we can all live together in peace without any abuse

One day we will live in a big house with everything we need. Love and peace and we will never have to move or hear evil again

Me?

Sometimes I think life just SUCKS!

I try not to dwell on the negative anymore.

I can not deny the truth though either.

I like to see both sides & feel

today.

So I have the greatest Angels around me both Spiritually & Physically ;)

I have great ppl around me ~ Thanks G

God totally sets me up with everything I need/want ask for pray for I just need to get better at my prayers ;)

More specific.

Heck I just realized I have no idea what it is that I want

Most times I just wander this earth asleep

I am learning to open my eyes wider ;)

I love my life

I love God

I love what God does for me and my loved ones

I love prayer and how God hears us

I love how God speaks to me

I love humor

and

Art, Music really but Art in all forms as well

I love the Ocean & animals I love kids & laughing

I am way too silly for most adults

I have no fear

That sets me apart

"Yes, be bold & strong! Banish fear & doubt! For remember, the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Old Testament Book of Joshua, Chapter one, Verse 9 The Living Bible

I get happier after I feel sad about something sad (lot's of sad things in this world ;( but then that means lot's of time to Rejoice in my problems (like God tells us to do in the bible (book of James).

I am so thankful to feel today although I feel like the Tinman from The Wizard of Oz

Funny how musax makes you feel

I can feel sad from a memory of a song one version and happy and safe, calm from another version of the same song ;) God takes the most utterly painful and turns it to more than good ~ glorious!

My life is a living daily moment by moment everlong testament to that above

God wants it all for us

But do we?

I mean we do, we all want it all, just we fight ourselves. Satan tricks us to hate ourselves. To self doubt and self destruct. The devil uses our emotions against us. Humans are easily fooled.

When you know that you have a limited time left to live well you just dont care about that any more. The lies that is (believing the lies).

Not that I ever thought that I would be writing on this blog after someone I knew died ;(

I am happy really for them. Being a believer and all, happy he is out of pain and away from evil now ;) Cant wait for us all to get there really.

So stay close to the truth the word of God and live like He says, to the fullest! No fear. No worry, stress, guilt.

Be happy, REJOICE. Always. Dance & sing & be kind to others. Help yourself have a great life by devoting it to helping others in the name of God.

God glorifies us.

so now I'm approached all the times with sex suitors as I call them. I get friendly emails from guys as well but I know the validation factor is huge. Like the male ego. So I try to take things seriously & have joy & peace in my heart ;) from God, from staying close to Him

work 4 free

I want to work for free. So I do. I hope to always be able to. So not a care about money, just love. Help. Aid. Assist. I feel a bit sad 2day. A bit shaken. I guess being Good Friday, that is a good feeling. It's hot, humid really. I miss the sugar & white flower I cut out 6 days ago. My body is in detox. I feel like i did when i x'd smoking. so edgy, and i live w/mold and that makes me so draggy. Always we have headache, muscle aches, and my kids & I are so sick from it. I have been cleaning for over 6 months now and it seems like it will take forever to get rid of everything ;( If i do then i/we have nothing. i guess i must trust that God will replace all that we need. ok, so getting the time and energy to get rid of it all. i wish i had help ;( but no one wants to come near it and i am all alone in cleaning this huge garage filled with mold ;( i want to just throw all the boxes out as is but my ex says he will sue me if i throw out all his stuff. He wont clean out his stuff though ;( so i am sick & tired always and hard to even move. i'm stuck working in this mold filled house with no car to even get away ;( not that i can relate to the pain and suffering of Jesus but it feels close.

My kids have been kidnapped by their dad and he wont give them back. they are in bad conditions and i pray all the time for their safe return. i am in a state of pain all the way around.

So i try to focus on the good & glory of God and that makes me better. I am joyous always even in my problems. i will not fear and i will know that God eases my burdens and it says that in the bible & i know now how that is true.

i am feeling sorrow for the world today. sorrow for the ppl in pain. sorrow for those who know no joy.

i have been there too

I wish 4 today that every creature could feel the comfort and joy of God. I pray all humans find the comfort & joy of knowing God in their heart & soul.

I long for Heaven but wish and pray for all of God's children to feel joy on earth in rejoicing always

i know God takes the bad and turns it to better than good. Great! Glorious! I am just praising God in the waiting time ;)

and praying for a way out of the mold. all new everything. it all seems so impossible but i know God loves to surprise us with Miracles! no transportation for 6 months now and i have not suffered. i have lost out on income which bothers me but i guess i do not need money

i just need God