we had too much in common

so i had a dream once about a visit from a dead man. he told me he was concerned for his child and urged me to go be a nanny for her. I thought that is absurd. I dont want to do that. I dont want to have a mean boss and be ordered around bc you think i can do something? What? Just be there. Be close. Take care of her. I can see ur concern now. I have children of my own now and I can see ur concern.

I knew God was in charge - i am not sure he did though. I knew we would learn together. I knew he had to go ;(

that made me sad (and a bit relieved) but happy. Bitter sweet happiness. That is my life ;) I like bitters sweet chocolate - just not in excess.

balance is what i learned and we learned to trust God together. Me in body and he in soul. Me in torture and pain and he unknown. I know no pain but i did sense fear. No, regret maybe more remorse not fear. I knew and he knew God is no fear - and God was all we had.

The world had failed us both too many times and all we knew was pain. Hope was always my big strong part and i think we both helped eachother. I know that is the way God intends it to be - helping each other.

so no, go on and laugh, be light and filled with joy. do not fear and worry. Fret not over the smallest detail for I am the Lord your God and I am Mighty and Strong. I am always with you and I say nah to fear and respect what I say. Obey me and my command and I will lead you on a beautiful life journey ;)

I had a body. I had a chance.

A choice now really.

A choice.